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A woman customer called the NetsGo help desk with a problem with her
printer.
NetsGo Tech Support : Are you running it under Windows?
Customer : No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point.
The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his
printer is working fine.
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NetsGo Tech Support : What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer : A white one...
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Customer : Hi, this is Maureen. I can't get my diskette out.
NetsGo Tech Support : Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer : Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
NetsGo Tech Support : That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer : No, wait a minute, I hadn't inserted it yet.
It's still on my desk... sorry...
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NetsGo Tech Support : Click on the 'My Computer' icon on to the left of the
screen.
Customer : Your left or my left?
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NetsGo Tech Support : Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer : Hello. I can't print.
NetsGo Tech Support : Would you click on "Start" for me and...
Customer : Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me!
I'm not Bill Gates.
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Customer : Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print.
Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'.
I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor,
but the computer still says he can't find it.
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Customer : I have problems printing in red...
NetsGo Tech Support : Do you have a colour printer?
Customer : Aaaah. Thank you.
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NetsGo Tech Support : What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer : A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at Woolies.
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Customer : My keyboard is not working anymore.
NetsGo Tech Support : Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer : No. I can't get behind the computer..
NetsGo Tech Support : Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer : OK.
NetsGo Tech Support : Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer : Yes
NetsGo Tech Support : That means the keyboard is not plugged in.
Is there another keyboard?
Customer : Yes, there's another one here.
Ah...that one does work...
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NetsGo Tech Support : Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a
capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer : Is the 7 in capital letters?
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Customer : Can't get on the Internet.
NetsGo Tech Support : Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer : Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
NetsGo Tech Support : Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer : Five stars.
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NetsGo Tech Support : What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer : Netscape.
NetsGo Tech Support : That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer : Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer..
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Customer : I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver
on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
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NetsGo Tech Support : How may I help you?
Customer : I'm writing my first e-mail.
NetsGo Tech Support : OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer : Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I
get the circle around it?
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NetsGo Tech Support : "Okay Colin, let's press the control and escape keys
at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.
Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer : I don't have a P.
NetsGo Tech Support : On your keyboard, Colin.
Customer : What do you mean?
NetsGo Tech Support : "P", on your keyboard, Colin.
Customer : I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!
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Halloween Safety Tips
1. Wear a light coloured, flame resistant costume.
2. Use reflective tape strips on front and back of costume so motorists can see you better.
3. Wear a short costume so you will not trip.
4. Carry a flashlight so you can see in the dark and be seen better by passing motorists.
5. Never “Trick-or-Treat" alone, have at least two "buddies" with you for the entire evening.
6. Never go into a home. Remain at the front door at all times.
7. Do not take short-cuts through backyards, alleys, or parks.
8. Cross only at street corners and look in all directions before crossing.
9. Do not eat any candy without having it checked by an adult. Accept only professionally wrapped candy.
10. Watch for lit candles and you must know how to STOP, DROP and ROLL should their clothing catch fire.
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